The Epiphany
by dancingqueen021
Summary: Spoilers for 1x21. She brought brings her fingers to her lips slowly. Touching them tentatively, she allows herself to think back to the moment she had her great epiphany.


AN: So I decided to finally try writing Lois and Clark. And this moment, it was begging to be written. So here it is. I'm so excited for the next season! I don't own Smallville!

She felt the familiar rush of wind, the sound of a something moving much faster than it should be able to. She fell forward in the absence of the warm body that was in front of her just a second beforehand. She slowly opened her eyes, exhaling. Her mind reeling, she walked out onto the sidewalk next to the phone booth.

"Clark," she breathed, a small smile flashing across her face.

How could she have been so blind? Not have seen the signs?

His constant disappearing when things got interesting. She thought it was that he was too scared to deal with the tough stuff. No, he was the one dealing with the tough stuff when she was the one who couldn't.

His appearing to be everywhere at once. She just thought it was him being nosy. It wasn't, it was him having that exact ability, to be everywhere, in a flash.

How he managed to take care of that farm all by himself. She thought he secretly had help, but was too proud to man up to it. Nope, it was just him with the aide of him powers.

How no matter how hard she tried, she never was able to get past that last wall. She thought it was because she would never be able to match up to Lana. She thought that she was never going to be enough for him. That she would always come in second place. She never thought it was because she was too important to him to let down that wall and let her in completely.

She gets it now.

She understands why there were the occasional canceled dates, the whispers around the farmhouse, the quickly closed computer files, the sudden disappearances, the times when his mind was somewhere else.

It was because he, sweet, kind, quiet, thoughtful, romantic, mama's boy, smart, dedicated, courageous, hardworking, stubborn, charming Clark Kent was,

The Blur.

She continues to walk down the street, trying to get as far away from the scene as possible before people showed up asking questions about what happened. She turns the corner, and realizing she's only a block away from the Planet, quickens her speed. She goes into the parking garage, gets into her car, and begins to drive back to the apartment.

She knows that she's not supposed to stay in Metropolis tonight. She could tell by Clark's tenseness earlier that something was wrong. She thought it was because he didn't want her anymore, that he was done with all of her back and forth on the subject of them. But she has a feeling that it has less to do with that, and more to do with his dear friend Zod.

She speeds down the highway towards Smallville, and when she passes the welcoming sign she smiles slightly. How ironic Clark's nickname seems now.

As she enters her apartment, she shuts the door behind her and leans against it heavily. She feels as though she hasn't had a chance to breathe since, she can't even remember. She gets herself a cup of tea, starts a fire, and curls up on the couch.

She realizes now what a difficult position she put Clark in, she yelled at him as Clark about the Blur, telling Clark that she understood why the Blur didn't tell her who he was. And that he shouldn't, because the Blur was doing it to protect her. But then she gets mad at Clark for not opening up to her, for not being there when she needed him. And she had no idea just how much she was asking from him. She tears up at this thought.

It's so unfair. Just Clark, Clark Kent the farm boy, he was a keeper. He was everything she needed and more. And she thought that by staying with her, he was taking on more than he should have to. She knew that he could've done better than her for gods sake. She was just Lois Lane. Now he, he was Clark Kent.

And now, now he's much, much more. And yet, still perfectly the same. He has this whole other side to him that is so much more complex, and carries so much more responsibility. And on top of the burden of everyday life, and Lois Lane; he also carries the burden that is being the Blur.

She brings her fingers to her lips slowly. Touching them tentatively, she allows herself to think back on the moment she had her great epiphany.

The minute his hand wrapped around hers she knew she had the right Blur. Whoever that was. It was warm, and soft, kind. Whereas when she touched Zod's, his was cold, rough, his embrace unwelcoming.

And when he pulled her in towards him, her breath caught in her throat. He was so close. She had imagined this moment, of getting this close. She thought it would've have felt strange, foreign, and exciting. But it didn't. It felt safe, it felt, like home.

Then the unthinkable happened. His lips met hers in a searing kiss. The passion that was poured into the kiss burned her all the way to her toes. And as his lips met hers again and again she realized something. This kiss, as amazing as it was, had happened before.

Her mind flashed pictures across her closed eyes. This kiss had happened in the middle of the bullpen, it happened in the corner of the copy room, it happened at the stove at the farmhouse, on the couch of the barn, at the counter of her kitchen, against the file cabinets in the storage room, against the wall of the elevator, over her car window, in the rain, at the movies, over a café table. She's lost count how many times this kiss has happened.

And it was happening again here, right here.

She responded with equal amount of passion. Her hands gripped the sides of his body tightly, her body fighting to get as close as possible. And as his lips slowed, and he pulled away, the warmth in her body extended beyond herself. She felt him hover, and then disappear. And in that second she knew.

All it took was his kiss.

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